nikol in hindi
relativelyLocal - swadhyaya - observations on living... blog

As I explore and experiment with various ways of living and being, my observations become a source or muse for my writing. Letting my words come forth into expression on to notebook pages keeps the ideas in my head clear.

American born (white), non-binary, videshi living in rural Himalayas… I write about bridging East & West, Decolonising & Queering Yoga, detaching from Capitalism & the Spiritual Industrial Complex, all the while trying not to be a snob about it.

I think I’ve kept a journal since I was old enough to hold a pencil (somewhat) correctly. I have trunks full of notebooks stashed here and there, half of which filled since I shifted to India in 2010. Slowly I’m going through and typing things out.

I do not claim to be an authority on anything I write. However I do honor my own experience and ability to articulate my observations on living in ashrams throughout North India for the past 12+ years. I hope you find my observations valuable. At the very least inspiring you to engage in meaningful dialog within the comments section.

Who Checks Your Diary?https://www.elephantjournal.com/2017/02/lessons-in-vulnerability-from-a-13-year-old-housemate-in-a-small-himalayan-village/

“Surprisingly, I find an unfamiliar relief in feeling safe to share and allow someone else to hear my heart—the dialogues in my head that otherwise fell quietly in line among the rest, kept locked up in that unchecked trunk of diaries.

And with this new practice of writing for an audience, I am beginning to recognize the inherent need in all of us to be truly heard. I witness the opening of my heart, directly related to the crumbling of my protective walls—so carefully constructed over decades of collecting and holding on to little grains of hurt, which were never swept away. And I realize this vulnerability, however initially scary, is an even more crucial ingredient to my spiritual growth and progress on this path of sadhana.

Sharing this piece of writing with you all now is the first swing of the sledgehammer, initiating a long overdue crumble.” ~ excerpt from Lessons in Vulnerability from a 13 Year Old Housemate in a Small Himalayan Village, Published on elephantJournal

"Soltar es un placer" - letting go is a pleasure. My #morningroutine consists of #cleansing before I attempt any sort of #sadhana (#asana, #mudra, #pranayama, #meditation, etc). Otherwise I'm just circulating toxins, both physically and mental-emotionally. Like #shatkarma for the mind - #chitkarma योगश्चित्तवृत्तिनिरोधः yogaḥ cittavṛtti nirodhaḥ "The skill of #yoga is demonstrated by the conscious non-operation of the vibrational modes of the mentoemotional energy." Eliminating the impressions of the mind - this is when actual meditation starts happening. Meditation is the absence of thoughts, that total #silence in the mind. Most of us never actually meditate, we just look good trying to sit still. Meanwhile our minds are spinning records of thoughts, replaying or rewriting what has happened, or what we wish to happen. He said, she said, they did, I should have said, done, etc. or circulating worries about an uncertain future. Just as what ever I eat or drink has to be digested and eliminated (to prevent physical illness), similarly all that I consume mentally through the senses - the "ahar" in "#pratyahar" - has to be digested and eliminated. Have you really fathomed how much media we consume!? Some of it #subliminally, #scrolling, #justwalkingaround ... After my first pee, I drink a few glasses of warm liquids (herbal or regular chai or salty lemon water) to get my bowels moving. Sometimes I even gently stretch and twist my spine to get the liquids moving through my intestines. And I write! Anything that comes to mind, #streamofconsciousness #morningpages. I write until I have nothing more to say... Only after which my mind is quiet and still, only then cittavṛtti nirodhaḥ happens. Repeat in the evening as well. #eveningpages gentle sitting asanas, then sit still as long as you can just #observing... Eventually meditation will happen #digestion #elimination #emotionalpurging #lettinggo #beforeigetonthemat #yogainspiration #queeryogateacher #noyogapants #meditationteacher #yogaeverydamnday

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Observations on Living…

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